You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
