I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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