My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
