Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
