with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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