took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
COCAINE IS GR8
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
