He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I currently don't understand fingers.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
