just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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