We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
