he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
