If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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