I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize