So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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