Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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