kristin has been a bad kristin
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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