i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
