you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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