I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
