I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize