After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize