I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
