I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
