drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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