elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize