so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will be naked everywhere
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
