Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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