you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
