im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You're like the curious george of whores
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
