Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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