honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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