Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize