time to smoke my breakfast
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
