guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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