Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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