Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just google imaged poop.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize