He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
