I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
