Who wears a wallet chain?!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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