Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
