just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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