she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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