no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
