I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Holy sore nipples Batman
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize