yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
