OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
