Duck Duck Cougar?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He better not be in your backpack
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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