just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize