She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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