I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
