This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
