so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
