i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You may now shotgun with the bride
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
