I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
