all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
