You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
