dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
