you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
