i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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