My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
