Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
