dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my shit smells like andre
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
