haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
