ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
