trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
