So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize