I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
