dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
