Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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